Image via WikipediaIt's thundering and lightning outside and I would love nothing more than to run out on my deck bukked ass nekked and get screwed on my lovely deck swing. Another of my many fantasies that I would like to see cum to life. Sex in the rain would be so slippery, moist, cool to the touch, and just plain sexy. Hair would get all matted and bodies would get silhouetted by each flash of lightning (shoulda made this a nocturnal chat, right?) No, I wanna talk about the idea of an actual fantasy. This blog has now taken on a life of it's own. It breathes for me, puts a fire in me, and helps me fight the urge to make some drastic phone calls. When I finish a post, it's almost like I'm having this secret, delicious affair with my readers (though few). I get a charge from the comments, I feel validated as a highly sexual woman that I'm not alone. It gives me hope that maybe one day my husband will look at me with so much lust and hunger in his eyes that I'll cum instantaneously from the shock of it. I love him, of course, and I love my children, no question...but sometimes...sometimes when I close my eyes and fantasize I think about making all of my dirty thoughts a reality by any means necessary. Does that put me in the horrible category of a desperate housewife? Will I be so hard up for the sexual attention I crave that one day the cable guy will become my victim? Or maybe I'll be like some of these other online wives that have their secret blogs detailing their tawdry affairs? Hmmmm...for now, I have this blog and the drive to keep showing and telling my husband just what the hell he got himself into.
I'm washing dishes when he gets home from work. He doesn't say anything so I assume he's had another rough day. He goes out of his way to come plant a kiss on the back of neck on his way to the bathroom.
The baby just went down for a nap and I welcome the quiet of the house.
I continue the tedious task of washing the dishes.
He comes back into the kitchen naked. Odd. The windows are open. Must need something quick. He does. Me.
He walks up to me pulls my ponytail and wraps it around his fingers. Dick hard. He plants a rough, scratchy kiss on the nape of my neck and whispers, "Don't talk, just let me fuck you before the baby wakes up". Nipple pinch.
He pulls me by my ponytail into the bedroom and throws me on the bed face down. Skirt hiked up. Panties ripped off.
Dick slammed into my barely wet pussy. Pleasant ouch. He's got his fist inside my hair and is pulling the ponytail from the inside out. Grunting and heavy breathing.
Pussy starts getting wet for him. Purring softly as fingertips caress clit. Eyes shut. Cumming. Damn.
"What's for dinner?"
Image via Wikipedia
I mean, where is this unwritten rule that says once you get married you have to relinquish those fantasies and just have "normal" sex? I asked him if he wanted complete honestly (and believe me this is not the first nor will it be the last time that we've had this conversation, but each time I think he hopes my answers will change) and basically reminded him of what I like, what I am capable of, what I need, what turns me on and off, and the myriad of fantasies that are locked up in my sexual psyche. He feigned surprise but this discussion of ours went into the wee hours of the morning. He feels that he got his fantasies out of his system before we got married and it doesn't "interest" him in doing those things with me. Ouch! When I asked him why not, he couldn't give me a definitive explanation other than the fact that "you're my wife now". Hm? I decided to take this opportunity of openness and really get him talking. I went with the obvious man fantasy of having two women, and I asked him, "How would you feel if I said yes to that?" He feels that 3somes either way won't work and that they'd turn into some Wendy Williams advice hour type shit where one person is left feeling vulnerable and another will possibly start to question the relationship. After an hour of this, I finally got him to say that he might be open to a 3some but only at a "sexy" party where I would have to prep him first and get him good and liquored up. I made him really think about realistic fantasies that he could see enjoying with me and he came up with a few: on a private beach (did we somehow hit the lottery and I didn't know?), role playing in a bar as strangers (more doable), on a car hood...making progress, right? After over three hours of discussion, and even being so bold as to ask, "If one person in a marriage is not getting satisfied after making several attempts to get their spouse to be more open, would you blame them for stepping outside the marriage?" After a long pause, he said, "No, I guess I wouldn't...I will try to do make more of an effort to appreciate how unbelievably sexual my wife is, ok?"
It's a yucky rainy day and I have a ton of errands to run, but before I can do what I need to do, I have to stop by my honey's job to get my daily spending money. When I pull up to meet him, he's already waiting for me outside in his uniform. Chills. I stay in the car and he leans in to plant two soft kisses on my lips as he hands me my cash. We have a few moments of idle chit chat, and for no reason at all I reach my hand out of the window and stroke his dick. He doesn't shoo my hand away or even break eye contact to see if any of his co-workers are around. SSSSS Damn. He's got to go back to work and I need to get moving. He gives me two more kisses and I'm off on the road. The radio is playing shit so I throw on my Ipod and feel for some Prince. I have a slew of my favorite dirty Prince songs and my number one is Darlin Nikki. It starts playing and as I'm driving I'm imagining myself making him a sexy video starring me as Nikki. I'm literally driving and caressing my thighs, my legs, my breasts, and my lips as I lip-sync the lyrics. When it gets to my line "and Nikki started to grind", I can't help but put my hands between my legs and magically my fingers find my clit. Now I should have started this by stating:DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS! The more I sing the deeper my fingers go into my pussy and now I'm wet and singing and fantasizing about him coming home and finding me in the middle of my video shoot. I think of him punishing me by tying me up to the bed post face down with a gag in my mouth. I picture him roughly shoving his dick in my ass without taking the time to ease it in. I imagine myself screaming from the sheer sweet pain of receiving his lashes to my ass. The song is almost over and I'm squeezing my thighs tighter and tighter as I try ever so hard to keep my eyes focused on the wet open highway. Fuck. I'm so into my singing, gyrating, fingering that I'm oblivious to the other drivers and the thought of some horny ass truck driver watching me only makes me more horny. Shit. Prince is at the part where he's screaming, "Cum back Nikki, Cum back" and his freaky shrieking and that was it for me cuz in my head I was bucking against honey's power thrusts and creaming all over the sheets. By the time the song is over I am pleasantly shuddering. Wow. If this is what I can do driving...just imagine the possibilities.
They may need to come up with a new driving campaign, my bumper sticker should read:
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Personally, a man must do the following in order to keep receiving head on a continual, ask-free basis:
- When offered to get a blow job, graciously stop what your doing and drop your drawers
- Make sure the piggy and nuts are fresh and free of any musk
- If you want the element of surprise and your dead weight is the equivalent of a school bus, please be so kind as to fall asleep on your back
- Once you awaken to find your dick in your partner's mouth, give a little moan so they know you're awake both upstairs and downstairs
- While your being sucked dry with no strings attached, please do at least 3 of the following:
a. alternate caressing/fondling different parts of your partner's anatomy
b. moan intermittently, sigh, inhale sharply, curse, make some type of fucking noise
c. talk dirty, call their name, tell them you love them,or refer to the man upstairs as if he/she were in the room with you
d. pull your partner into the 69 position, which will intensify your blow job by at least 95%
e. kiss, lick, bite, slap any/all available body parts
f. pull their hair (be mindful of any weaves or tracks)
g. guide your partner's head to a rhythm that's pleasing to you
- Then when you think you're about to cum, you can either:
a. let your partner know in advance, if they like to swallow
b. pull out and cum all over tits or ass (I'm not one for cumming in my face, sorry that's the one sex act that I find disrespectful - notice I said the one)
c. stop the blow job and reward your partner by fucking the shit out of them for the unsolicited blow job (my personal favorite!)
Now that's Receiving Head 101, any questions?
My bedroom opposite doesn't "allow" me to play with him outside of the bedroom, by this I mean, I'm not "allowed" to grab at his dick, fondle his ass, or even stick my hands down his shirt unless it's leading up to sex. For him, it's like "what's the point, if the playing doesn't go any where?" or his other excuse, "the kids are still awake". Firstly, is it a guy thing? Is there some sort of unwritten rule that you can't tease one another unless the sex is imminent? I know the answer is NO, because I have guys friends that are constantly groping and fondling their wives while cooking, doing the dishes, laundry, taking out the garbage...you get what I'm saying. I just need to figure out how to get my spouse to see that there's nothing wrong with that. After 4 years of marriage, you'd think he'd catch a clue by now. Secondly, what wrong with our children knowing that mommy and daddy have to have couple time, and when they get older understanding that mommy and daddy have a great "intimate" relationship. I don't want my kids growing up thinking sex is a dirty word or a secret, that's how teens get knocked up! More than ever before, I'm groping and teasing him in other places besides the bedroom and night time, plus I'm also being more verbally open in front of close family and friends about our sex life in front of him. I firmly believe it is because of this that he recently tried to break my back when I asked him to handle his business later one night in front of a relative. Is it an ego thing for him? Do I have to put him on front street every time I want mind-numbing sex? After 5 years of togetherness, how do I get HIM to be inspired to treat me like the sexual goddess that I am, instead of being a DIRTY GIRL ON LOCK?!
It's 3:30am and I awaken to his head between my legs. Before I can question why or how, the heat of his gently licking courses from my clit to my eyelids. "Damn, baby are you drunk?" No reply as he continues to lick with intensity. Every other lick he sends ricochets up my spine by sticking his tongue in and out with a rhythm I didn't know he was capable of. My left hand hits the headboard while my right clutches at his head. "Honey, you forgot to close the door". No response just deeper plunges of his tongue into my hot walls. "But the kids!" He shoves two fingers sticky with my essence into my open questioning mouth. Who is this man? I'm lost in wave after wave of pleasure. "We're gonna wake the baby". Still he says nothing as he slides his tongue up my body all the way up to my neck where he pauses there to suck feverishly at the nape. Before I can register what has happened to my husband, he's inside of me, thrashing his dick around in ways that make my toes curl from unfamiliarity. We're in our typical missionary position, but tonight it's not so typical. He has his hands on my ass, squeezing between thrusts. I can't believe this is happening, this can not be happening to me. He sits up and throws my left leg over his shoulder and slow strokes me for a what seems like a delicious eternity. The top of his dick rubbing my clit ever so slightly gives me my third orgasm for the night...third orgasm? I haven't cum in months, now I've come three times. "Baby, how much did you drink?" As if to punish me for my incessant questioning, he pulls out. The abrupt halting of it sends me into a mini-orgasmic haze, I can't see straight. He's got his two middle fingers plunged deep into my pussy and is pulsating at the very base of my g-spot and I can't fucking believe it, I'm ejaculating all over the sheets. Just like any other brother out there, I've only had it happen a few times in my life and tonight it's happening for me. I'm blind with it, my body is contorted into this writhing, heaving, convulsing mass, and just when I think it can't get any better he stops, gets up, closes and locks the door, and switches on the fan. When he returns, he presents his dripping wet cock for me to suck him off and I eagerly take him into my mouth. The minute I have his tip and shaft between my lips, he offers me his, "Yeah, baby". And I'm in my zone, licking the head, sucking him in, licking the head, sucking him in. All the while his fingers dance inside of me making the bed wetter and wetter. I'm riding a wonderful shock of orgasms when he stops, flips me over on to my stomach, pulls me up on to my knees and slams his dick so hard into me that my head almost cracks the head board. My husband...my husband is really and truly fucking the ever-living shit out of me tonight! What ever the FUCK is happening in the universe - I LIKE IT!! I'm cumming more tonight than I have in the almost two years! I'm smiling...no scratch that...I'm cheezin like crazy as he grabs my hips and my ass and pumps his dick in and out of me like I was his last fucking meal! I've got the pillow so far down my throat it's raw, but I don't care. I'm reaching behind me and I'm clawing, punching, grabbing on him not ever wanting this feeling of being so utterly sexually free to end. He flips me front and then side and then back on my knees enduring my bites, my scratches, my harsh sucks and licks and all out wild abandon from me. My final question for the night, "What did you take?", is answered by a pounding that nearly renders me unconscious. The cumgasm that occurs sends me into what could only look like an epileptic seizure, but oh, how fucking sweet it is. As I lay there shivering with aftershocks, the tears fall, and the next thing I know I'm all out bawling. Now he takes my face and asks, "What's the matter?" My only response is to hiccup, "Why -why-why...can't we...do this...all...the...time?"
Hope I caught you with your pants down...now go do something naughty!!
Image by squishband via Flickr
In a survey of more than 86 other studies on women’s reports of sexual intercourse frequency, U.S. and European women between the ages of 26 to 35 reported having sex between 8 to 12 times per month. SERIOUSLY??? Is this accurate for anyone? I WISH!!!!
In one of the largest U.S. studies, the majority of men and women who were living together but unmarried reported having sex 8 to 12 times per month, and the majority of married people reported having sex “a few times per month.” This is more like it, well, I don't like it, but it is what it is! One textbook compared studies in the U.S. of men and women surveyed about the frequency of “marital coitus” from 1938, 1970 and 2003. There was, in fact, little difference across the decades, and looking at men and women from ages 20 to 45, they reported between 6.8 and 8 times per month. LIES, I TELL YOU, ALL LIES!!
Researchers point out that there are many problems with these numbers, including a lack of agreement on what “sex” meant to those answering the question and problems with how the data was collected. EXACTLY!! WHAT IS SEX? BLOWJOB, ANAL, MISSIONARY, 69, 88, OR ALL OF THE ABOVE OR NONE OF THE ABOVE?? All I know is I want my 8 - 12 times a month as the stats confirm!!!!
Image via Wikipedia
Seriously?!?!?!?! -------> This is not sexy!!!
Ladies we need to boycott, write letters, start an email campaign, SOMETHING....we cannot let this atrosity continue in bedrooms across the nations!!
DOWN WITH THE TIGHTY WHITIE!!!!
I'm Such a big ego uh uh uh
I got a big ha ha ha ego
She love my big ha ha ha ego
So stroke my big ha ha ha ego
I like to joke around a little bit but here we go
***This my part right heya:
It's too strong It won't fit
It's too much It's too tough
He talks like this Cause he can back it up
I love his big ego It's too much
He walks like this Cause he can back it up
You decide when you find On what I'm working with
Better yet them thighs Matter a fact it's my smile
Or maybe my eyes Boy you a site to see
Kind of something like me
Image by Ryan Somma via Flickr
On another subject, but not really, I'm curious what does the word "FREAK" really mean? Does liking pornos, slutty outfits, and hi-heels make a man a freak or just average joe? When I think "Freak" I think: Ménage à trois, voyeurism, toys with weird names, positions that would make your mama disown you, blindfolds, sex while driving, doing in it in places just to see if you get caught, private sex parties in hidden lofts...I mean am I alone here? Am I speaking out of my ass? Oh, yeah, and let's not forget third input! Aren't some of these the things that really come to mind when someone uses the word "freak"?
**This is the first official post of a Dirty Girl on Lock, if you like it, please comment, become a follower, and share it with your friends! Look for more sexual foolishness...