Happy HNT: Anybody need a REF??

This was my V-Day gift to hubby. Matching Referee outfits. We got a night off from the kids so we put them on, played a foreplay card game, and he got me totally drunk on a bottle of Nuvo. It was great. This morning I got breakfast made, and the opportunity to do school work while he cleaned house. I am so enjoying his making up to me!!

Details soon cum!

Oh, No The Fuck He Didn't!!

I'm washing our son up in the shower, Sunday night is shower night and I wash his hair and we have a blast, right? Or so I thought.

Anyone who has kids knows sometimes they're ok with water on the face and sometimes they're not. The trick is to have quick distractions. I get to washing my son's hair and he likes to help but sometimes he forgets he has soap on his hands and will rub his eyes, he'll cry for a second while I rinse out the Johnson's then I get to the art form of distraction. Tonight was "Who do you love?" where I ask him about all the people (animals) that he loves.

We get through maybe 2 rubs of the eyes, I start to rinse his hair out, and tonight he decided he didn't like the water and did his cry thing. However, before I could continue the love quest, Mr. Asshole bursts into the bathroom screaming, "WHY ARE YOU TORTURING MY SON?! GOT HIM IN HERE EVERY NIGHT CRYING!" WTF!

It's winter idiot, he doesn't get a bath every night, but I'll play along, however, his outburst now sends our son's minor whimper into a full fledged meltdown!

I try to calmly explain that I know what I'm doing, our toddler is fine, he's making matters worse, and now letting the cold from the hallway into the bathroom. Do you know he had the nerve to say some shit like "But when I wash him up he doesn't cry!"?

First, let me remind everyone including him that the last time he gave our son a bath was about a year ago, OK?! So he is far from a fucking expert on bath time! He wants to now make this a good time to tell ME that I must be doing something wrong. I basically said, "Hey, if you think you can do a better job of not only giving our 2 year old a bath, but wash his very temperamental hair too, KNOCK YOURSELF OUT! If not, get out of the doorway, our son is getting cold!!"

Strange, he didn't decide to show me how it's done though! After, as I'm trying to get him dressed for bed, Ding Dong continues his rant about he should be able to have a say if he doesn't like how I'm handling his son. Really?! You would have a say if you lifted one fucking finger to take care of our son! I told him that him running into the bathroom to correct my bathtime routine would be as asinine as me running into the garage and telling him he's fixing his car wrong.

My list for therapy is getting longer and longer...

Fucking Orange Juice!

Question: What is/was the most ridiculous fight you and your mate, spouse, lover ever had?

I originally thought ours was about fucking bread, but I was sadly mistaken when my husband this weekend tried to win a prize for world's most fucked up thing to fight about. You all have heard me lament about hubby's fucked up childhood. Well, it reared its nasty ass head on Saturday when he came home and announced that the children shouldn't be allowed to have fucking ORANGE JUICE!!

WTF??

Evidently when growing up orange juice was a luxury only meant for the grownups, and with the way it costs these days, he feels that the kids should find something else to drink that the orange juice should be for him and him alone. .

I was not raised in such a household, if it wasn't junk we were allowed to have it. Especially if it was good for us. Mind you, my 10 year old maybe drinks a glass a day, while neanderthal drinks about 3-4 glasses a day. He wants to blame her for us not ever having it in the house?? Right!

I tried to diffuse the situation by stating that when it goes on sales, I'll make sure to buy more...do you think that would end the argument?? NOOOOOOOOooooooooo!! Now the argument turned into I have no respect for him as a man, and everything has to be my way. Um, how does my wanting my kids to be able to drink fucking OJ a sign of disrespect for him????

I hate that we are doing so well in so many other ways, but he remains a fucking bully and tyrant over the dumbest shit and I have his fucked up parents to thank!!!

Vent over.

Screamed on Hubby!!! Need Your Insight!!!

HOLY SHIT!!! Poor hubby had no idea what hit him!! Here's what happened...

I joined forces with this website to get some yummy products and will be reviewing for you all shortly. Anyway, I got my first delivery in the mail yesterday. I was running around all day and my mother was coming over to watch the kids, so I asked him to please put the box in our room. Whenever I order toys I use a funny name so hubby knows not to touch the box, right? We've had several jokes about it, this way he knew right away what "kind" of package was inside. Anyway, I go about my business for the day, and when I bring mom home I notice the box is open by the trash can, and I silently freak out. FUCK!!!! Hubby is asleep and I have to leave for a birthday party so my rant has to wait several hours.

When I'm finally on my way home at 1am, I call him at work breaking, "Why did you open MY box?!?!" He's all, "Isn't that what you wanted me to do?" NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I reminded him of our conversation and then screamed, "I NEVER OPEN YOUR BOXES....EVER!!!!" I asked how did he know it wasn't a surprise inside or something? And I couldn't stop yelling how I never open his packages no matter what they are: car parts, work out equipment, sneakers, toys, etc. Then he starts yelling back that next time I ask him to move something he'll "just fucking leave it sitting there for mom or kids or whoever to find it and open it". I yelled, "Unlike you, my mother wouldn't fucking open MY MAIL!!!!" Oh, poor thing couldn't understand for the life of him why I got so bent out of shape after wanting him to be more involved sexually.

I felt almost violated. That he had robbed me of that joy of first opening a present and seeing what's inside. Not to mention, I didn't know what was going to be on the packing slip, and I had reason for concern since they wrote "review for black.pearl36d" on it!!! FUCK!!!!!!! Not to mention that he wanted to know if I used one of my coupons in "our" drawer and I said no, because this was from a new website, to which he replied, "oh, that explains why I didn't recognize anything on the receipt!!!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!??! I tried doing a google search on myself and thankfully only bras came up. Hopefully, he won't do any real searching to see the what and where of my purchases.

All of this box confusion prompts the huge question: What if he finds out? Lordy lord lord!!

Did I overreact? How would you guys feel in the same situation? Thoughts...PLEASE!!