Holy Hot Shit Review!!!

I got a new toy in the mail last week from the Adult Toy Shoppe to review but alas mother nature came and I didn't want to muck up my brand new Micro Bullet Vibrator, you know?

Well, hoooonnnnnnneeeeeyyyyy! Let me tell you about this little fucker right here! Now y'all know I ain't no punk! Miss Pussy likes it just about any way you give it to her...but!! This handy-dandy-holy-shit-let-me-grab-on-to-the-bed-for-dear-life was no fucking joke!!!

First, let me say that it is visually the cutest vibe I've ever had in my entire life. The thing is purple - one of my all time favorite colors!! It's soft and tiny and I was all excited to have it accompany me on my family vacation/anniversary trip but....! Now it has two speeds on it: "Oh My Fucking God!" and "Are You Out of Your Fucking Mind?!"

It had the intensity of possibly being put spread eagle naked on a lier jet with your pussy on the engine. I could barely hold it between my legs for, oh say, three seconds before I thought my coochie was going to burst into flames!!

So ssssssoooooooo disappointed that this vibe was way too intense for me! Ugh, what does that mean? Am I losing my touch? Are the gray hairs really getting to Miss Pussy? Or was this just a sucky ass vibe?

I vote for the last one...right?!


What's Shakin, Bacon?

Hey Peeps!!

How's it hanging, banging, dragging, plugging, fisting, licking, sucking, bucking...in other words, how are you guys doing?

I know it's been a while since I've given you a real deal update on things, so here we go...

  1. I'm on summer vacations - WHOO-FUCKING-HOO!!
  2. I've lost 8lbs and have another 7 to go to reach MY ideal weight
  3. It's fucking unbearably hot, which makes me not want to do a fucking thing on a daily basis
  4. The kids are great, my 10yr old is driving me crazy, I'm convinced her period is coming any day now the way she runs so coocoo for coco puffs on a regular basis (one minute fine, the next minute crying over something so ridiculous I want to scream) ...plus she's a Gemini too - Good Lord! It's going to be a rough next couple of years.
  5. Hubby and I are doing awesomely well, our sex life is thriving, the day after the wedding, we had our first "CS" (corpse sex). I was so tired and told him to have his way with me, and I'd just lie there. SIKE!! I pretty much rolled over and rode him lovely, and instantaneously passed the fuck out!
  6. Did I mention how hot it is?!
  7. I've come to the startling realization that my breasts are way way way huge! I've spent the past 3 weeks looking for bathing suits that actually fit them. I no longer can sport the traditional bikini (you know the triangle top) without popping out repeatedly, and this won't work on our upcoming family vacation. Normally, when I start working out, I lose weight in my tits too, this time I didn't, so the contrasted weight loss really emphasizes them (course no one's complaining)
  8. Oh, for the first time in years, I almost caused an accident! We were driving home from hubby's bday dinner and I was wearing a sundress, ironically picked out by my daughter, that had a ridiculous cleavage. As we pull up to a red light, this older white man in a pickup truck breaks his neck as he slow motion passes us with the old man sneer and he mouths the words, "NNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCEEEE"...which is immediately followed by screeching tires. I was giddy the rest of the way home! I have issues, I know. But damn it felt so good!
  9. After a month's worth of numbness in my right foot, I was told by my podiatrist that I have Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome!! I've been out of workout commission for almost a week trying to find appropriate sneakers with good arch support. Workouts will reconvene tomorrow cuz I snagged me some Reebok's yesterday!!
  10. Lastly, hubby and I will be celebrating our 5 year anniversary in less than a month and will be going to this lovely bed and breakfast in NJ with our own private deck. This was a huge requirement for him and I told him point blank, "If you don't fuck me on this deck that you just had to have on this vacation, I will punch you in the balls and drive home by myself!" You know I'll keep you posted on that threat!!
Missed you guys so much!!


Did you see the early HNT?!?!

In case you missed it!! I'm really feeling myself...literally!




HNT Cooling Off


I missed you!!
Happy HNT!!


Nocturnal Chat #17

Sexual Reflections

It had been weeks since she and her lover made that special connection. This time neither she or he would take no for an answer. As he jumped in the shower to freshen up and after she had made sure both kiddies were off to LaLa Land, she slipped on the red silk nightgown he'd bought her weeks before. It lay still in the box and now she had no excuse not to put it on.

The moment she slid the gown over her head and felt the coolness of the silk against her nipples, she felt that familiar heat rise between her thighs. She stood in front of the mirror in front of their bed and marveled at the contrast of her hard nipples against the soft delicate fabric. She ran a brief had along the curves of her breasts, stomach and thighs. It was almost electric. The woman in the mirror smiled as the shower stopped but her hands did not.

The thought of him coming out any second to take advantage of her made her shiver even though it was a warm night. The bathroom door opened, the bedroom door closed, and the ceiling fan was clicked on. Her eyes never left the reflection. She could feel him watching her as her hand continued to explore herself in the mirror. She watched as one hand pinched a nipple while the other lifted a corner of the red gown and slipped a finger in that moist place between her legs. As much as she wanted to close her eyes and enjoy the butterflies meeting somewhere between her chest and naval, she couldn't. She had to see what pleasure looked like.

She heard his footsteps and then saw him theatrically remove her hand from her breast and kiss the length of her arm all the way to the nape of her neck. She inhaled deeply the fresh smell of soap off his cool body and watched her eyes become small slits as his hand joined hers underneath the gown. His fingers pushing in her fingers making her liquid flow down to both their knuckles, the reflection moaning softly.

His hardness was rubbing matter-of-factly behind her and his breathing was becoming raspy. She pushed back on him ever so slightly to get him to fall on to the bed. Never letting her go, he pulled her down on top of him, using their moist fingers to glide him inside. The instant his warmness met her, she watched as her head flew back in that first moment of sheer blissful contact.

She rode him slowly at first. Head now forward and her focus back on the reflection, she was mesmerized and how the straps of her gown fell on their own off her shoulders and her breasts bounced with the rhythm of their love making. With each orgasm her hands found their way to her hair, pulling heaps of hair off her neck so that he could see the profile of her breasts with each shudder. Rib cage elongated, sweat beading and running down her stomach, and her breath coming in and out in short labored sighs.

The light that danced in her eyes was hypnotizing and she squeezing and pulled him deeper inside of herself. She bucked and arched her back and leaned just enough backwards so that he could pull on her nipples and play with her clit. She felt the undeniable heat of a mastergasm building its way to the top of her skull to the base of her toes and she upped the tempo. She was magnificent. A black beauty riding her stallion. His grip on her tightened letting her know she wasn't alone. The walls of her pussy contracted and sucked every ounce of cum his dick had to offer her. Her hands clasped high above her head now came crashing down to rack his thighs as the climax filled her.

Her hair stuck to random areas surrounding her face, neck, shoulders, and breasts. Her skin radiated this unbelievable afterglow. With her head cocked to one side, she was almost certain she saw her reflection wink just before she turned around to tell her lover, "Thank you."