What's Shakin, Bacon?

Hey Peeps!!

How's it hanging, banging, dragging, plugging, fisting, licking, sucking, bucking...in other words, how are you guys doing?

I know it's been a while since I've given you a real deal update on things, so here we go...

  1. I'm on summer vacations - WHOO-FUCKING-HOO!!
  2. I've lost 8lbs and have another 7 to go to reach MY ideal weight
  3. It's fucking unbearably hot, which makes me not want to do a fucking thing on a daily basis
  4. The kids are great, my 10yr old is driving me crazy, I'm convinced her period is coming any day now the way she runs so coocoo for coco puffs on a regular basis (one minute fine, the next minute crying over something so ridiculous I want to scream) ...plus she's a Gemini too - Good Lord! It's going to be a rough next couple of years.
  5. Hubby and I are doing awesomely well, our sex life is thriving, the day after the wedding, we had our first "CS" (corpse sex). I was so tired and told him to have his way with me, and I'd just lie there. SIKE!! I pretty much rolled over and rode him lovely, and instantaneously passed the fuck out!
  6. Did I mention how hot it is?!
  7. I've come to the startling realization that my breasts are way way way huge! I've spent the past 3 weeks looking for bathing suits that actually fit them. I no longer can sport the traditional bikini (you know the triangle top) without popping out repeatedly, and this won't work on our upcoming family vacation. Normally, when I start working out, I lose weight in my tits too, this time I didn't, so the contrasted weight loss really emphasizes them (course no one's complaining)
  8. Oh, for the first time in years, I almost caused an accident! We were driving home from hubby's bday dinner and I was wearing a sundress, ironically picked out by my daughter, that had a ridiculous cleavage. As we pull up to a red light, this older white man in a pickup truck breaks his neck as he slow motion passes us with the old man sneer and he mouths the words, "NNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCEEEE"...which is immediately followed by screeching tires. I was giddy the rest of the way home! I have issues, I know. But damn it felt so good!
  9. After a month's worth of numbness in my right foot, I was told by my podiatrist that I have Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome!! I've been out of workout commission for almost a week trying to find appropriate sneakers with good arch support. Workouts will reconvene tomorrow cuz I snagged me some Reebok's yesterday!!
  10. Lastly, hubby and I will be celebrating our 5 year anniversary in less than a month and will be going to this lovely bed and breakfast in NJ with our own private deck. This was a huge requirement for him and I told him point blank, "If you don't fuck me on this deck that you just had to have on this vacation, I will punch you in the balls and drive home by myself!" You know I'll keep you posted on that threat!!
Missed you guys so much!!


phallatio said...

Sounds like you've had fun! I ogle so many women, I'm surprised I haven't crashed more cars!

No, I won't be complaining about your breasts.

My swimming buddy has huge boobs and struggles with her swimming costume all the time.

Corpse sex sounds good! Shit, any kinda sex would do!

Anniversaries are all about sex! Roll on anniversary!

Green Eyed Frenchy said...

Well that all sounds really great! (having the same issues with my youngest, aaaghh!) Whishing you a lovely summer break.