Vacations almost over...with Bonus HNT

I've had a full week off from work and what do I have to show for it? Hm? I figured I would have gotten a shitload of blogging done, but alas I had spring cleaning to do that took up the first 3 days of my break. Then the past 4 days have been a world wind of kiddie play dates, errands, taking care of mom (foot surgery - she's fine), new Mac set up (yup, I'm blogging on my new Mac that is taking quite some getting use to), filing, wedding, grown up play dates with girlfriends...and so on and so on...

Now with 2 days left of my vacation I felt compelled to take a break from swapping the winter clothes to spring/summer clothes...yes, less clothes means I have to really get on my weight loss gain grind. I wanted to give you guys a little sneak peek at what I'm working with. Hubby and I went to a wedding this weekend and it was ghetto fabulous! I've never seen so much fake everything in my life!! Fake hair, fake boobs, fake eyelashes, OH MY!! I spent 4 hours picking out a dress that would make me look "not fat", I almost had a nervous breakdown in the dressing room because I'm between sizes and nothing fit properly, then i show up to the wedding and I totally could have showed up in a burlap sack!

I looked fucking amazing compared to the hot ass mess that was walking around this fine catering hall. Why is it that women don't realize there are clothes restrictions when you reach certain sizes?!?! Now I have nothing against big girls, IF you know how to work what you got, y'all know what I mean. My aunt is a big girl and she looks good in everything she wears, because she gets it to fit, and what she picks fits who she is. Anyway, there were some size 20+ chicks at this wedding in size 2 dresses and it was not a good look at all! After taking some pics I turned to hubby and said, "There is something very specific that I need you to say about how I look tonight". Without skipping a beat or pausing, he said, "Babe, you are the best, baddest, and hottest chick in this entire place, and that includes the bride!" The BRIDE, how in the hell does anyone show up to a wedding and look better than the fucking bride!! She was queen hot mess! Now I have three tattoos, but I feel that there's a time and a place to show them off. This chick had huge tattoos on both of her arms, and so did each of her bridesmaids, and I overheard several women in the ladies room talking about how in poor taste it was to pick dresses that accentuated them...wow!!

It was even more funny listening to hubby's friend (a plus size chick in a petite mini dress that did not hide her three stomachs) talk about how ghetto SHE thought the wedding was, now that's irony for you! Anyway, I have some special pics of my very, very, very sexy stilettos that I wore just for hubby (even though he had to go to work after the wedding, the image of me in these shoes will forever taunt him every time he closes his eyes.

Are you ready?

These are now the highest pair of heels for outside the house!!

Are you sure you want to see them?

I promise to post pics of me in the hot little black cocktail dress later today, I promise.

Am I stalling?

Nah, here ya go!

Well, whaddaya think??


Pashun Nate said...

Nice heels.

This post made me laugh:)

It is all in the fit, in terms of clothes, I hear you...as a big woman I go for what works with my size.

Sounds like you had fun at the wedding though...

Reformed Slut said...

(((giggle))) You crack me up girl! That is so funny! I know exactly what you mean about knowing how and what to wear. Gotta have some class!! Just cuz they make certian clothes you can fit into does NOT mean you should be wearing them!
Love your shoes...very cute!
Hey - I took my blog private but I hope you will request an invite sweetie!! ;-)

phallatio said...

Any chance you could walk across my back?

Black Pearl said...

@RS - check your email honey!!

@Phallatio - anytime baby, anytime!!

Sheen V said...

Very hot! I just love those heels on your beautiful feet!

Reggie said...

Funny post.......nice hooves.