I Think My Husband Cheated On Me

The jury is still out. I found some emails of conversations between my husband and some chick from his old job. I wasn't being sneaky I had permission to use him email to send out resumes on his behalf and clean up his 5000+ full inbox (I'd been teasing him for years that I would do it, and he practically begged me to do it).

Anyway I found these emails from back in 2006 after we'd been married a few months and about to get our house. Long story short there were a lot of emails with her cursing him out about not being there for her and terms like "you got what you wanted from me", "I know we each have our significant others but", "I know I shouldn't have gotten feelings for you", "Don't worry about canceling on me %$@^@, I made other plans"...it was over the course of 6 emails and they were very long or I would've posted them.

I did, however, forward them all over to my best man friend for a MANpinion.  His assessment was that the girl was fucking crazy.  And she did sound like a nutjob constantly going off on him for a variety of infractions, mostly not spending time with him.

When I first read them on Saturday, I wasn't angry nor was I hurt, I just felt sick to my stomach.  I didn't have any rage, and therefore just sat on this information for 2 days before finally deciding to ask him about.  Mind you, I let him know on Saturday that I did clean out his inbox and that he should "really check what I left, in case there was anything important".  

Of course, he didn't catch the hint, and I asked him last night who the chick was.  Without hesitation, his eyes bugged out of his head, and he said, "That bitch is fucking crazy!"  He went on to explain that she was a friend from his old job that he used to go to lunch with on occasion but then she started "catching feelings" and acting awkward, so he told he couldn't be friends with her anymore. "PERIOD".  I questioned him a little more about some of the wording, and just as my friend told me, hubby explained that if I "read carefully" I would have seen the outlandish commentary came from her not him.

He hugged me and kissed me, and told me he felt terrible that I would even think that, and that he loved me more than words can say.  He apologized for me feeling cheated on but not to fear that he would never ever cheat on me.

I'm trying to figure out if my lack of anger or hurt is because I believe him or if maybe I'm in shock still at the thought.  I really don't know what to think and while we're in a really good place now, we weren't back in 2006.  I could say that at the end of the day he trusts me implicitly because I had and now have full access to his email and cellphone (all passwords), and he is not computer savvy on the tricks of hiding anything computer related.  Soooooo.....



Topaz said...

Oh this is a horrible feeling to have so my heart goes out to you. I would tend to believe him for the variety of reasons you state - having a man friend give his opinion, your husband's openness with his email, his reaction verifying your friends take, it all points to his intention of being faithful.

Now, reason has still got nothing on instinct. If your gut reaction wasn't "that motherfucking bastard!" then chances are you're good as gold. And that you went from rocky-then to solid-now, that's all that's important in the end, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

God, she reminds me of someone. Crazy stalker bitch...spammed my cell with SMS and would send email 6 miles long. We never fucked. Never even kissed. I just made the colossal mistake of acting like I gave a damn once.
Ps: he gave you all his passwords? That may not seem like a big deal to you, but...honestly? That's a fucking round of applause right there.
Anonymous Dude

phallatio said...

To be honest, "you got what you wanted from me" seems pretty clear to me. She wouldn't use those words if he had borrowed money and not paid it back. She wouldn't use those words if he had used her contacts to get a job and not thanked her. Yes, she may deluded, bordering on mad, but that kind of sentance only refers to one kind of act!