TMI Tuesday - Ten Questions Donated from Bill...

Bill loves to keep me on my blogger toes by asking me random questions every once in a while. Here's his latest onslaught of Q & A (my answers are in purple):

I have ten questions for you. Hopefully you’ll find it enjoyable to share your answers with us.

1. What is the total number of men have you had sex with?
I think 34, kinda lost count after college...forgot names and faces


2. Do you shave, trim, or leave your pussy natural? (Had to ask since you have never shared any pics of it - yet.)
Actually, hubby trims me up. I keep it neat. Hair is jet black, straight, with a few rogue silver strands here and there lol


3. Do you ever go braless out in public?
Ouch, not with my tatas! Too painful!


4. How old were you when you gave up your virginity?
No violins here, ok...A date rape when I was 15, but I don't really count that one. I lost my for real-for real virginity to my high school sweetheart a year later at 16.


5. How old were you when you first orgasmed?
Playing around and exploring with my fingers in the tub at 14


6. What is your favorite fucking position?
On top - guaranteed multiple orgasm position for me


7. Have you ever been watched while having sex?
Can't say for certain, but in college on a road trip had sex in a hotel room while another couple we were traveling with had simultaneous sex with us...it was almost a competition to see who's man could get us to cum first. (no one talks about this years lol)


8. Is there anything you wouldn’t do sexually to please your man?
Um, won't know until he asks me!!!


9. Do you have any “boudoir photos” of your tits covered with hubby’s cum? (If not, I would suggest taking some for your PRIVATE collection. Your dark skin would provide a sexy contrast to his creamy white cum. I would also suggest making sure you take photos of your tits giving milk. Again, the contrast of the watery liquid against your dark skin would be striking, not to mention the eroticism that it is YOUR life sustaining liquid from YOUR body. I STILL can't believe your hubby isn't drinking you dry!)
No hubby didn't take the pictures, and he isn't into cumming on me. Not a huge thrill for me, but I'd be ok with it if he did do it. And no pics of breastmilk either, that I, hm, feel like I can not, will not waste a drop for my son. As long as he tasted it, I'm fine, but I would not let him steal from baby if he was into that either.


10. Tell us one more sexy thing about yourself that we don’t know.
    My tongue is so long I can lick my own nipple

Now, answer at your own risk ;-)

Fucking Toys - Yay & OUCH!

Now I've read plenty of blogs with critiques of sex toys but never wagered my own opinion since I never really had anything to make me say WHOA or YIKES until now. With my birthday last week I ordered some toys, and I mentioned this in my birthday post. I primarily purchase my toys from Adam & Eve and up until now have had nothing to complain about. I bought the My First Jack Rabbit Vibrator after reading reviews for hours and the Real Skin Whopper Dildo.
Now my pussy is not very picky and neither is my clit, shit in a heated horny moment a water bottle will do the trick...but I digress. I was so eager on my birthday to use the jackrabbit after the big hubby let down that I couldn't wait for him to go to work so I could try it. THAT SHIT ACTUALLY HURT!!! First of all, the noise level is CRAZY! I put it on my bed, closed the door, walked all the way into the living room, and half way up the stairs and I could still hear the fucking thing. It sounded like an old rusty airplane about to take off. Fine, I said, I'll just have to make sure the kids are really asleep to use it. Then I put in all wet from the sheer excitement that comes from having a new toy watching the rotating beads go to work...it was as if some alien life form was trying to claw its way out of my puss! Ok, I thought, let's just try it with the vibrator...what a let down, the little jack rabbit doesn't fit nicely over the clit so I had to really shove it into my pussy to feel jack shit. Needless to say, I wrote A&E a scathing letter of complaint since I have been a customer for years, and I await their response.
On the flip side...I'm literally giggling, the Whopper is FUCKING AWESOME!!! I just finished telling a friend of mine that I've already stuck it to every wall in my bedroom, the armoire, the dresser and my head board!!!!! I love this thing! When I complained that I would love to cowgirl it but trying it on my hardwood floors was near impossible, he was like "duh, have you tried a chair?!" Guess what I'm doing tonight???????

I wanna go outside...in the rain...

Image via Wikipedia

It's thundering and lightning outside and I would love nothing more than to run out on my deck bukked ass nekked and get screwed on my lovely deck swing. Another of my many fantasies that I would like to see cum to life. Sex in the rain would be so slippery, moist, cool to the touch, and just plain sexy. Hair would get all matted and bodies would get silhouetted by each flash of lightning (shoulda made this a nocturnal chat, right?) No, I wanna talk about the idea of an actual fantasy. This blog has now taken on a life of it's own. It breathes for me, puts a fire in me, and helps me fight the urge to make some drastic phone calls. When I finish a post, it's almost like I'm having this secret, delicious affair with my readers (though few). I get a charge from the comments, I feel validated as a highly sexual woman that I'm not alone. It gives me hope that maybe one day my husband will look at me with so much lust and hunger in his eyes that I'll cum instantaneously from the shock of it. I love him, of course, and I love my children, no question...but sometimes...sometimes when I close my eyes and fantasize I think about making all of my dirty thoughts a reality by any means necessary. Does that put me in the horrible category of a desperate housewife? Will I be so hard up for the sexual attention I crave that one day the cable guy will become my victim? Or maybe I'll be like some of these other online wives that have their secret blogs detailing their tawdry affairs? Hmmmm...for now, I have this blog and the drive to keep showing and telling my husband just what the hell he got himself into.

Irresponsible or Healthy?

Irresponsible might be a poor choice of words, but is it irresponsible or healthy to continue to have sexual fantasies that you want to fulfill with your spouse? The whole reason this blog came into existence is because I'm an overly sexual being and have been repressing much of my sexuality because a) my hubby is my complete opposite and 6) we don't have the "time" or "means" to entertain me. The conversation came up about fantasies and the question was posed to me, "You still want to fulfill your fantasies now? Didn't you get those out of your system when we got married?" UM, NO! I still want a threesome, I still want to have sex in locations where the element of getting caught is there, I still want to go to a "sexy" party or sex expo. I have a mental locker near busting at the seams filled with unfulfilled fantasies and more important, fantasies that I'd like to fulfill with him!

Image via Wikipedia

I mean, where is this unwritten rule that says once you get married you have to relinquish those fantasies and just have "normal" sex? I asked him if he wanted complete honestly (and believe me this is not the first nor will it be the last time that we've had this conversation, but each time I think he hopes my answers will change) and basically reminded him of what I like, what I am capable of, what I need, what turns me on and off, and the myriad of fantasies that are locked up in my sexual psyche. He feigned surprise but this discussion of ours went into the wee hours of the morning. He feels that he got his fantasies out of his system before we got married and it doesn't "interest" him in doing those things with me. Ouch! When I asked him why not, he couldn't give me a definitive explanation other than the fact that "you're my wife now". Hm? I decided to take this opportunity of openness and really get him talking. I went with the obvious man fantasy of having two women, and I asked him, "How would you feel if I said yes to that?" He feels that 3somes either way won't work and that they'd turn into some Wendy Williams advice hour type shit where one person is left feeling vulnerable and another will possibly start to question the relationship. After an hour of this, I finally got him to say that he might be open to a 3some but only at a "sexy" party where I would have to prep him first and get him good and liquored up. I made him really think about realistic fantasies that he could see enjoying with me and he came up with a few: on a private beach (did we somehow hit the lottery and I didn't know?), role playing in a bar as strangers (more doable), on a car hood...making progress, right? After over three hours of discussion, and even being so bold as to ask, "If one person in a marriage is not getting satisfied after making several attempts to get their spouse to be more open, would you blame them for stepping outside the marriage?" After a long pause, he said, "No, I guess I wouldn't...I will try to do make more of an effort to appreciate how unbelievably sexual my wife is, ok?"

OK!

To blow him or not to blow him?

How would you take it if your spouse came home from an extremely hard day at work, complaining, tired, and in a miserable mood, and you the good husband or wife offer to give them oral pleasure just to make them feel better, and they say, "I don't know, I guess"? Seriously?! Now I don't mean to toot my own fucking horn here but I suck a pretty mean dick, and to get a monotone, "I don't know, I guess", followed by a "I suppose you could wake me up later, you know I was being sarcastic before, right?" I kinda feel like forget now! I offered and you weren't enthusiastic. For me that's all part of the fun of it. I know most women don't enjoy giving blow jobs, I'm not one of them. It actually turns me on and I can even reach orgasm doing it...that being said, I have to be inspired by the man I'm giving it to in order to achieve either of the two reactions. You know: breathing heavy, pulling or playing with my hair, a moan or deep sigh, talking dirty to me and if you really want to get me going then play with my tits or stick a finger or two between my thighs...but maybe that's just me?

My bedroom opposite doesn't "allow" me to play with him outside of the bedroom, by this I mean, I'm not "allowed" to grab at his dick, fondle his ass, or even stick my hands down his shirt unless it's leading up to sex. For him, it's like "what's the point, if the playing doesn't go any where?" or his other excuse, "the kids are still awake". Firstly, is it a guy thing? Is there some sort of unwritten rule that you can't tease one another unless the sex is imminent? I know the answer is NO, because I have guys friends that are constantly groping and fondling their wives while cooking, doing the dishes, laundry, taking out the garbage...you get what I'm saying. I just need to figure out how to get my spouse to see that there's nothing wrong with that. After 4 years of marriage, you'd think he'd catch a clue by now. Secondly, what wrong with our children knowing that mommy and daddy have to have couple time, and when they get older understanding that mommy and daddy have a great "intimate" relationship. I don't want my kids growing up thinking sex is a dirty word or a secret, that's how teens get knocked up! More than ever before, I'm groping and teasing him in other places besides the bedroom and night time, plus I'm also being more verbally open in front of close family and friends about our sex life in front of him. I firmly believe it is because of this that he recently tried to break my back when I asked him to handle his business later one night in front of a relative. Is it an ego thing for him? Do I have to put him on front street every time I want mind-numbing sex? After 5 years of togetherness, how do I get HIM to be inspired to treat me like the sexual goddess that I am, instead of being a DIRTY GIRL ON LOCK?!

Guess who's not cumming for dinner?

If you've had the conversation well over the allowable, say, ten times, and he still doesn't get it, what more can you do? You love him, right? But how important is sex anyway? Let me rephrase that because we are having sex. Do you have to cum every time? Most men do, they can do it in their sleep even - damn nocturnal emissions my ass! OK, I'll admit I have severe penis envy, always have and I always will. I recently complainied to 2 male friends to get their perspective (b/c when I asked my girlfriend, she said I'm overthinking it - UM, NO!!) If I can do it by myself, and I can get it if I'm on top, why can't he make it happen for me? I put on the shoes, I put on the outfits, I put away the granny panties, even do my hair and slap on some lip gloss, but I can't get him to put a little extra in to it so that I can have a good night's sleep!! I don't think it's wrong to insist on a happy ending at the end of every sexy bedtime story. Anyway, one said, "Isn't it ironic how sexual we all are (referring to he, the other male, and myself), and we all ended up hooking up with our bedroom opposites?" To which the other explained,"It's punishment for all the whoring around we did when we were younger." Makes sense, or does it? Is there a way to compromise in a sexual relationship when one person is overly sexual and the other is, well, not?

Image by Ryan Somma via Flickr

On another subject, but not really, I'm curious what does the word "FREAK" really mean? Does liking pornos, slutty outfits, and hi-heels make a man a freak or just average joe? When I think "Freak" I think: Ménage à trois, voyeurism, toys with weird names, positions that would make your mama disown you, blindfolds, sex while driving, doing in it in places just to see if you get caught, private sex parties in hidden lofts...I mean am I alone here? Am I speaking out of my ass? Oh, yeah, and let's not forget third input! Aren't some of these the things that really come to mind when someone uses the word "freak"?

**This is the first official post of a Dirty Girl on Lock, if you like it, please comment, become a follower, and share it with your friends! Look for more sexual foolishness...