3some Debate

Hubby and I have been having some really lengthy conversations about my wants and desires, and I continue to shock and astound him at the things that would make and keep me satisfied in the bedroom. Suffice it to say that my 3some fantasy has pretty much consumed every one of these discussions.

He is under the belief that if he were to ever give in to my request that:

1. He would be emasculated
2. I wouldn't be satisfied with just one time
3. I would look at him differently
4. He would never look at me the same

To #2 I came back with, " Isn't it better to have fucked, than never to have fucked at all? At least I can say that my fantasy was fulfilled and it was fulfilled with my husband, as opposed to still aching for it in my old age."

I'm curious, how many of you have engaged in the a 3some while in a serious relationship (either guy-guy-girl or girl-girl-guy)? How did it work for you? Were there any ramifications? Any regrets? Was it only one time or multiple? Did you enjoy it?

Please put some of my fantasy into real life perspective. Thanks.

Prop. 3

All this week I've been in talks with Soul about my needs not being met by my husband, and up until this point he's always been a proponent of keeping to my vows. Well, I'm not sure what changed his mind but this week he pretty much told me, "Fuck it!" and to give him a chance. Not just any chance but a dominate-the-fuck-out-of-you chance. You all know how badly I want to leave my control at the door and get tied up and dominated, well, now Soul wants to be the one to give it to me. He literally told me, not asked, nor suggested, but told me I better have a date for us to meet in the next 30 days by tomorrow. I giggled my way through it but am so intrigued. To sweeten the offer, Soul made me continue my daily tasks in my office while he gave me an oral solo performance over the phone. I can not tell you how difficult it was to talk to my students about transcripts and college applications while he whispered dirty thoughts as he stroked himself into a frenzy. I had half a mind to kick everyone out of my office, but then I would have failed the test. My task was to be able to do my job and listen, get excited, but do nothing to give away what was happening on the other end of the line. I nearly dropped the phone when he came in my honor. What a beautifully loud tribute he gave me that had my panties wet for the remainder of the afternoon. It was after this that he texted me the above mentioned instructions and told me that he was no longer kidding, this wasn't a joke, and he was to be taken seriously. What do I do? I get on the phone with BD and tell him what happened. Somehow, somewhere between talking to both BD and Soul, Prop. 3 was created. BD basically told me that he will be back in town for Thanksgiving weekend and how would I feel about having my threesome with him and Soul. Holy Shit! Gulp! Drip! WTF! A million different things are playing in my head and they're all bad, very, very bad!! In light of my conversation with hubby this morning, I'm possibly about to do a really bad thing: fulfill my all time #1 fantasy of having a threesome - and not just a regular 3some (if there is such a thing) but a tag-team-take-turns-fuck-her-in-both-holes-while-tied-up kind of threesome! I'm all for spontaneity, however, if I do this it has to be premeditated, meaning: we have to set up a date, time, and place. I told Soul this morning, that in all good conscience, I probably could only come up with date and time, but would need them to set up the rest, without hesitation he said, "No problem, put BD in touch with me". Am I wrong here? I always felt that if I cheated it would be something that just sorta happened, but to plan it out, to me makes it that much more heinous. Angel keeps telling me, "Oh, you just have to keep working with your husband, it'll take time, but he'll get it", and that sneaky little devil keeps whispering, "You've tried everything, even told the man he's going to force you to cheat, you're a sexy bitch and deserve some real good fucking, so stop the deliberating and go get yours!" HELP! I'm going to put a poll up and I need you all to weigh in on Prop. 3! (also put up a gadget for you guys to ask questions).

Response to Bill

Hey Bill, I loved your questions and thoughts on Nocturnal Chat #5 so much I had to respond to you directly (so everyone could see, of course ;->)

Yes, my number one fantasy is to have one dick in my ass and one in my pussy (with guy #1 laying under me in my pussy, me on my stomach facing him, and guy #2 in my ass standing). The feeling I can only imagine as supercalifrajalisticexbealidoious!

I find it commendible that you would want your woman to have her utmost desires, and wish my husband had a male friend that he could talk to that could explain such things to him.

I think that IF I were to ever get this fantasy with my husband, he would have a million rules about it. He's already told me it would have to be a stranger, and somehow I doubt he'd let me discuss it with him after all was felt and cummed. I think I would have such an undying burning love for my husband for putting his sexual hangups aside to let me have this fantasy. He thinks it will be opening Pandora's Box and that I'll want it more and more...unfortunately I couldn't argue with him over that point at all. Plus, I don't think he would want my complete honesty if I did thoroughly enjoy, he'll be wanting to hear that it was the worst experience ever and for me to beg to never do it again. Told him I couldn't promise that either. But at least he knows how much I want it, right?

As far as "a" list goes, I had to chuckle because our therapist had us do that...guess who finished their list months ago? ME ME ME!! We're supposed to try to do at least 3 things off the list per day, but alas I have no list for him. But since discussion of the list and our marathon sex talk, he's definitely more aware. I do think I will create a "Fantasy List" for him, and like you it may be pages and pages long!! LOL

P.S. You are so lucky to have found someone who is not only accepting of your sexuality but willing to enjoy it with unabashedly.

P.S.S. Thanks!!

Irresponsible or Healthy?

Irresponsible might be a poor choice of words, but is it irresponsible or healthy to continue to have sexual fantasies that you want to fulfill with your spouse? The whole reason this blog came into existence is because I'm an overly sexual being and have been repressing much of my sexuality because a) my hubby is my complete opposite and 6) we don't have the "time" or "means" to entertain me. The conversation came up about fantasies and the question was posed to me, "You still want to fulfill your fantasies now? Didn't you get those out of your system when we got married?" UM, NO! I still want a threesome, I still want to have sex in locations where the element of getting caught is there, I still want to go to a "sexy" party or sex expo. I have a mental locker near busting at the seams filled with unfulfilled fantasies and more important, fantasies that I'd like to fulfill with him!

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I mean, where is this unwritten rule that says once you get married you have to relinquish those fantasies and just have "normal" sex? I asked him if he wanted complete honestly (and believe me this is not the first nor will it be the last time that we've had this conversation, but each time I think he hopes my answers will change) and basically reminded him of what I like, what I am capable of, what I need, what turns me on and off, and the myriad of fantasies that are locked up in my sexual psyche. He feigned surprise but this discussion of ours went into the wee hours of the morning. He feels that he got his fantasies out of his system before we got married and it doesn't "interest" him in doing those things with me. Ouch! When I asked him why not, he couldn't give me a definitive explanation other than the fact that "you're my wife now". Hm? I decided to take this opportunity of openness and really get him talking. I went with the obvious man fantasy of having two women, and I asked him, "How would you feel if I said yes to that?" He feels that 3somes either way won't work and that they'd turn into some Wendy Williams advice hour type shit where one person is left feeling vulnerable and another will possibly start to question the relationship. After an hour of this, I finally got him to say that he might be open to a 3some but only at a "sexy" party where I would have to prep him first and get him good and liquored up. I made him really think about realistic fantasies that he could see enjoying with me and he came up with a few: on a private beach (did we somehow hit the lottery and I didn't know?), role playing in a bar as strangers (more doable), on a car hood...making progress, right? After over three hours of discussion, and even being so bold as to ask, "If one person in a marriage is not getting satisfied after making several attempts to get their spouse to be more open, would you blame them for stepping outside the marriage?" After a long pause, he said, "No, I guess I wouldn't...I will try to do make more of an effort to appreciate how unbelievably sexual my wife is, ok?"

OK!