To blow him or not to blow him?

How would you take it if your spouse came home from an extremely hard day at work, complaining, tired, and in a miserable mood, and you the good husband or wife offer to give them oral pleasure just to make them feel better, and they say, "I don't know, I guess"? Seriously?! Now I don't mean to toot my own fucking horn here but I suck a pretty mean dick, and to get a monotone, "I don't know, I guess", followed by a "I suppose you could wake me up later, you know I was being sarcastic before, right?" I kinda feel like forget now! I offered and you weren't enthusiastic. For me that's all part of the fun of it. I know most women don't enjoy giving blow jobs, I'm not one of them. It actually turns me on and I can even reach orgasm doing it...that being said, I have to be inspired by the man I'm giving it to in order to achieve either of the two reactions. You know: breathing heavy, pulling or playing with my hair, a moan or deep sigh, talking dirty to me and if you really want to get me going then play with my tits or stick a finger or two between my thighs...but maybe that's just me?

My bedroom opposite doesn't "allow" me to play with him outside of the bedroom, by this I mean, I'm not "allowed" to grab at his dick, fondle his ass, or even stick my hands down his shirt unless it's leading up to sex. For him, it's like "what's the point, if the playing doesn't go any where?" or his other excuse, "the kids are still awake". Firstly, is it a guy thing? Is there some sort of unwritten rule that you can't tease one another unless the sex is imminent? I know the answer is NO, because I have guys friends that are constantly groping and fondling their wives while cooking, doing the dishes, laundry, taking out the garbage...you get what I'm saying. I just need to figure out how to get my spouse to see that there's nothing wrong with that. After 4 years of marriage, you'd think he'd catch a clue by now. Secondly, what wrong with our children knowing that mommy and daddy have to have couple time, and when they get older understanding that mommy and daddy have a great "intimate" relationship. I don't want my kids growing up thinking sex is a dirty word or a secret, that's how teens get knocked up! More than ever before, I'm groping and teasing him in other places besides the bedroom and night time, plus I'm also being more verbally open in front of close family and friends about our sex life in front of him. I firmly believe it is because of this that he recently tried to break my back when I asked him to handle his business later one night in front of a relative. Is it an ego thing for him? Do I have to put him on front street every time I want mind-numbing sex? After 5 years of togetherness, how do I get HIM to be inspired to treat me like the sexual goddess that I am, instead of being a DIRTY GIRL ON LOCK?!