Poll Results: Masturbation! (TMI Tuesday Lead In)

The question posed on the last poll was:

How often do you masturbate?

1. Daily: 8 (80%)
2. Mulitple times a day: 0 (0%)
3. 1-3 times a week: 2 (20%)
4. 4 - 5 times a month: 0 (0%)
5. Once a month: 0 (0%)
6. Only on special occasions: 0 (0%)
7. Never: 0 (0%)

I must say that I was relieved that no one put never or Only on special occasions! It's good to know that a great many of us self-pleasure. I fall into the 1-3 times a week, when I can't convince hubby to give me some (which by the way, it's been days! I don't know how it happened, but I said to him today "Um, what the fuck? What's up with the no dickly for the past like WEEK!" He looked like he saw a ghost. "I thought you were good from the past few sessions?" See, people what have we learned? He really thought he was safe...I digress). Back to masturbating.

1. I'm curious as to why the rest of you do it. Is it like me, more out of sexual frustration? Or do you simply do it because you love to do it?
2. Care to share your first mastabatory experience? Inquiring minds really want to know!
3. Those of you married or with partners, do you share the experience together? As you know, my hubby refuses to masturbate, let alone even stroke himself for a few before we fuck for me!!
4. Have you ever caught someone you didn't know playing with themself? What did you do?
5. Where is the craziest place you've ever had to stick your hands down your pants and take care of things?

Bonus Follow-up to TMI Tuesday...

...obviously inquiring minds want to know more!! So here are some of the extra questions:

From Bill -

1. Any white meat? Can't say that I have
2. "Too painful to go braless" because they are milk laden? Yes and no, they hurt b/c I have big boobs...you try to run up a flight of stairs without a bra and anything more than a "c" cup! LOL
3. Did you take them yourself or did some other lucky person? Clearly bill didn't read Nocturnal Chat #6!! LMSAO

From undrcvrbd -

1. have you forgotten all their names and faces? No, just the forgettable ones LOL
2. does anyone in particular stand out? I can't say "anyone" but I do have my top 5 lovers prehubby (the h.s. sweetheart, the college student, the coworker, the friend, and the poet) - all of them had beautifully big dicks and knew how to work me in their own special ways
3. What was the freakiest shit you've ever DONE sexually? A girl has to save some stuff to keep you all cumming back!
4. And where's the freakiest/dangerous/strangest place you've HAD sex? I would have to say the most dangerous place I've ever had sex was with the co-worker after my bday party while he drove his wife's car...and I rode his big dick all the way home! Imagine if you were a cop on that pullover!!!!!

Happy HNT

Ok, so I'm feeling some mommy blues cuz I have less than 2 weeks left with my peanut at home before I have to go back to work. According to HNT guidelines it's ok to post nekkid baby
toes... So there!

TMI Tuesday - Ten Questions Donated from Bill...

Bill loves to keep me on my blogger toes by asking me random questions every once in a while. Here's his latest onslaught of Q & A (my answers are in purple):

I have ten questions for you. Hopefully you’ll find it enjoyable to share your answers with us.

1. What is the total number of men have you had sex with?
I think 34, kinda lost count after college...forgot names and faces


2. Do you shave, trim, or leave your pussy natural? (Had to ask since you have never shared any pics of it - yet.)
Actually, hubby trims me up. I keep it neat. Hair is jet black, straight, with a few rogue silver strands here and there lol


3. Do you ever go braless out in public?
Ouch, not with my tatas! Too painful!


4. How old were you when you gave up your virginity?
No violins here, ok...A date rape when I was 15, but I don't really count that one. I lost my for real-for real virginity to my high school sweetheart a year later at 16.


5. How old were you when you first orgasmed?
Playing around and exploring with my fingers in the tub at 14


6. What is your favorite fucking position?
On top - guaranteed multiple orgasm position for me


7. Have you ever been watched while having sex?
Can't say for certain, but in college on a road trip had sex in a hotel room while another couple we were traveling with had simultaneous sex with us...it was almost a competition to see who's man could get us to cum first. (no one talks about this years lol)


8. Is there anything you wouldn’t do sexually to please your man?
Um, won't know until he asks me!!!


9. Do you have any “boudoir photos” of your tits covered with hubby’s cum? (If not, I would suggest taking some for your PRIVATE collection. Your dark skin would provide a sexy contrast to his creamy white cum. I would also suggest making sure you take photos of your tits giving milk. Again, the contrast of the watery liquid against your dark skin would be striking, not to mention the eroticism that it is YOUR life sustaining liquid from YOUR body. I STILL can't believe your hubby isn't drinking you dry!)
No hubby didn't take the pictures, and he isn't into cumming on me. Not a huge thrill for me, but I'd be ok with it if he did do it. And no pics of breastmilk either, that I, hm, feel like I can not, will not waste a drop for my son. As long as he tasted it, I'm fine, but I would not let him steal from baby if he was into that either.


10. Tell us one more sexy thing about yourself that we don’t know.
    My tongue is so long I can lick my own nipple

Now, answer at your own risk ;-)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CONFESSOR X!!!

As per Confessor's Birthday WishList, I am providing him with his number one wish:

1. A picture of two sets of tits pressed together

(taken from my boudouir photo shoot)

Happy Birthday X!! May you have many more horny days and nights, blowjobs galore, and more sex than that lovely dick of yours can handle!!

Poll Results...

I just realized that I put up these really great polls for you guys to vote on but I've never posted final results. Needless to say, I've decided to start doing that, to hopefully promote some type of discussion afterwards. You guys down for that?

The last poll question was: Favorite Sexual Activity
10 people voted.
0% - Tittie fuck - really no one likes this?
10% - Fellatio - where were my fellas on the blow jobs here???
10% - Anal - I know I'm not the only one, am I?
10% - Double Penetration - Yall know I want this, somebody else must like it too! Two dicks for the price of one! No takers?
20% - Straight up Fucking - Of the 10 voters only 2 people like to fuck?
20% - BDSM - Yay for bonage!!
and the activitey with the highest votes...

...with a whopping 70%

CUNNILINGUS!! EATING OUT PUSSY AND GETTING YOUR PUSSY EATEN WINS!!!!

Complimentary Blow Job

On Thursday, hubby had come home exhausted, so after he had showered and was ready for bed (he was going to be pulling a double in Friday) so I offered to suck him to sleep. Of course as only my husband can do he turned me down. (one if my friends called him the stupidest husband ever). Anyway, this morning around 5:30 am I woke up to find his two middle fingers working feverishly between my thighs and his dick primed at my lips. The minute I moaned my awakeness, he whispered, "Suck it for me baby" and placed his free had on my head. Well, I guess he ain't that stupid after all, cuz I sucked my man reaaaaaalllllllllll good thus morning to the point that I got verbal and physical praise thoughout and even a compliment on my sucking skills afterwards. I NEVER get that!! What great start to my fucking weekend!!!!
Sent from my iPhone

Nocturnal Chat #7

Double Penetration
(My first collaboration with Confessor X = blue)

*knock*knock*
The sound you've been waiting for all week long. You rush to the door and expect a warm greeting from me, but instead you get two! I've brought a friend, which gets your heart to race with excitement and anticipation. What will he do? Watch? Join? Will I just watch? Ohh, the possibilities, your pussy gets wet with the opportunity that's presented itself.

I take them both by the hand and lead them into the hotel room. Now it's just us, a king sized bed, and a huge walk-in shower. You’re grinning from ear to ear, your friend, well, not so much. I decide to give him a voice. I lead you to the bed and tell you to undress. I turn to your friend, place his right hand on my 36d cup and whisper, "I want you to direct the way this will go tonight, do you understand?" He just nods as he gives my nipple a tentative squeeze. "You will tell us what you want us to do, ok?" Again, he nods and another pinch this one a little harder. "Hm, hm," your friend clears his throat, "Take off your clothes and you two take a shower with the door open". I do what he asks....

With the door open and the curtain of the shower to one side, my friend is able to watch as our wet bodies form one. With your back to my belly, you grind your round ass over my cock and bring it to life. My friend moves closer and tells you to get to your knees and take my cock into your mouth, it’s his show so you do all you can to make him happy.

Your friend's eyes are focused solely on my mouth and what it is doing. I take your cock in both my hands. My left hand affectionately squeezing your balls and my right hand steadies your shaft. My tongue is making light circles on the tip and the moment the sweet precum oozes out for me, I lavishly lap it up and then swallow it whole. I can now feel the tip at the back of my throat as my lips lock on. I suck and I suck. I feel my clit swell as I hear your friend deeply inhale. I peer over to see he's got his own dick partially out, it's head pointed straight at me watching to see what I'll do next, but before I can reach around to fiddle with your ass, he tell me to...

Get out of the shower, dry off and move to the bed. It’s time for him to do what he was brought there for. I laid down on my back and you crawled on top of me, sucking on my cock just a little as you take your mount. My stiff cock glides into your soaked pussy while your hips move from side to side. My friend takes off his clothes and you pause while I'm deep inside of you and glance over at him and notice...

Your friend's dick is huge. Unlike any dick, cock, schlong, I've ever seen, and he's got it trained straight for my sweet ass. I brace myself for it, but he whispers, "Not like that, I want you to put me in". He's standing right behind me as you slide your dick in and out of my quivering lips slowly. You’ve got your right hand on my throat, giving just enough pressure to keep me slightly light-headed. You lock eyes with me and say, "Just focus on my stroke and ease him in". I don't break eye contact as I hear the lube bottle being opened and the squishy sound of it being lathered on. I use my left hand to anchor myself to your bicep, and with my right hand I reach behind me and slowly, very, very slowly start inching the bulbous head inside my tight cavern...

My friend begins a slow rhythm, allowing me to pull your lips to mine and let our tongues dance while a soft moan escapes your mouth. Fighting back the pain, you begin to bite my neck, giving me some pain to match my own pleasure. My friends pace quickens, pushing your body against mine. Your gorgeous tits rest just high enough off my chest allowing me to pinch your nipples. I can feel your pussy take a tight grip over my cock and the wetness run down my shaft, I can only imagine...

...what your friend must be feeling in that sweet ass of mine. Inside I can feel both cocks fight over the thin layer of flesh that separates them. As one pulls out, the other pushes in. The pressure of having them both dipping in an out of me overwhelms me to breaking. I'm on the brink of orgasm. Everything in my body tenses. I bite down on your nipple as I buck hard against to two of you. It's a race now. Who will be the victor? My ass is screaming, my pussy is spasming, and my entire body is electrified...

I fight off the feeling I enjoy so much, waiting for the right body signal. My friend continues his assault on your ass, pounding away, shoving your body hard against mine. Your mouth has moved from my nipple to my mouth, kissing me and one final lip bite as my friend grunts and thrusts his way to orgasm. He pulls out his massive cock for the first time and your body craves it instantly. I can see his face scrunch and soon feel his hot goo spray your ass and trickle down my shaft. You take this as a sign and begin to buck harder. I grab your waist and keep up with your pace. I'm unable to hold myself and cum deep inside your pussy. My now thicker cock fills your hole as you don't stop your rock. The ultra sensitive tip stays hard till you finally reach your peak. And just as you dismount me, take our cum soaked cocks into your mouth you say to me...

… "Can you guys switch places next time?”

Happy HNT!!

After 2 kids...still got it? Damn, right I do!!!

Sneaky Freaky

Ok Ok Ok

One of my blogger dudes suggested that the lack of response to What Makes a Freak a Freak? post is because everyone is waiting to see what I have to say on the subject. No one wants to make the first move, which I was shocked to see so many passive answers. Being that here in blogosphere we're all safe, unjudged, and having a good time with our sexual openness, it surprised me at the lack of unabashed freaky responses. I spoke to a few online peeps and real life folks to get a little list going of some Freaky. I understand that everyone's definition of "freak" is different, however, I did want to hear what YOU considered freaky in your own lives. With that being said, here's a little Sneaky Freaky list (some are mine you may recognize from previous posts and the rest are from what I'll call "Shy Folks")...Here we go:

• Golden showers - having a man or woman drown your body with their hot golden liquid
• strap-on sex - where one partner of the same or opposite sex puts on a strap-on dildo to fuck their partner either in the pussy or the ass
• rape fantasy - playing the victim while someone forcefully takes sex or sexual favors from you
• incestuous role play - acting out as mother/son, father/daughter, brother/sister sex fantasy
• BDSM - desire to be humiliated/dominated or dominate sexually; want to inflict sexual pain or receive sexual pain for pleasure
• exhibitionist - the urge to show body parts in public
• cross-dressing - to dress as the opposite sex to gain stimulation and/or pleasure
• animal play - erotic or sexual role play where one or all partners take on the behavior, appearance and mannerisms of a real/imaginary animal
• fetishism - sexual arousal is achieved by an object, situation or particular body part
• anal sex - (while normal for most it is still considered kinky/freaky to many)

There you have it! I did the research, posed the question, and those are the results. Hopefully, now that I've put some of them out there, you'll feel free to tell us about your kinkiest/freakiest sexual or non-sexual experience...maybe??

What Makes a Freak a Freak?

I need some audience participation for this one! I want to know what do you all consider freaky or freaky behavior or someone being a freak. Give me some examples. The debate has come up in my bedroom several times, as well as a few of my friendly discussions with friends of the opposite sex. What makes a man or woman a freak in the bedroom (or car, or bathroom, or movie theater...LOL you get where I'm going)?

Gimme some freaky nasty!! I can't wait to hear (see) what you all think!!

Fucking Toys - Yay & OUCH!

Now I've read plenty of blogs with critiques of sex toys but never wagered my own opinion since I never really had anything to make me say WHOA or YIKES until now. With my birthday last week I ordered some toys, and I mentioned this in my birthday post. I primarily purchase my toys from Adam & Eve and up until now have had nothing to complain about. I bought the My First Jack Rabbit Vibrator after reading reviews for hours and the Real Skin Whopper Dildo.
Now my pussy is not very picky and neither is my clit, shit in a heated horny moment a water bottle will do the trick...but I digress. I was so eager on my birthday to use the jackrabbit after the big hubby let down that I couldn't wait for him to go to work so I could try it. THAT SHIT ACTUALLY HURT!!! First of all, the noise level is CRAZY! I put it on my bed, closed the door, walked all the way into the living room, and half way up the stairs and I could still hear the fucking thing. It sounded like an old rusty airplane about to take off. Fine, I said, I'll just have to make sure the kids are really asleep to use it. Then I put in all wet from the sheer excitement that comes from having a new toy watching the rotating beads go to work...it was as if some alien life form was trying to claw its way out of my puss! Ok, I thought, let's just try it with the vibrator...what a let down, the little jack rabbit doesn't fit nicely over the clit so I had to really shove it into my pussy to feel jack shit. Needless to say, I wrote A&E a scathing letter of complaint since I have been a customer for years, and I await their response.
On the flip side...I'm literally giggling, the Whopper is FUCKING AWESOME!!! I just finished telling a friend of mine that I've already stuck it to every wall in my bedroom, the armoire, the dresser and my head board!!!!! I love this thing! When I complained that I would love to cowgirl it but trying it on my hardwood floors was near impossible, he was like "duh, have you tried a chair?!" Guess what I'm doing tonight???????

My real-life fantasy

First, Soul Powers you cheated with 3 guesses, Vix you were close, and Confessor I'd have to get him really drunk to get that one!!! LOL. Alas, I can check #5 off the Sweet Ass Fantasy List!!!! The obvious question is how the hell did I pull that off? Well, as you saw from my last post, somebody (aka hubby) felt really guilty about my birthday let down. He came home on Friday, our 4 year wedding anniversary, and told me to stay in the bedroom for a few minutes. I was all annoyed b/c I was hungry and about to throw down and make a huge anniversary breakfast. I go back our room, where he sends our daughter in with 2 cards for me. One, a late birthday card with a huge apology and acknowledgement of the fucking up in it, and the other an anniversary card. Then a few minutes later he calls me back to the kitchen. On the table is a beautiful bouquet of royal blue roses. Melt. Then as we share our "Happy Anniversary" hug, he spins me towards the dining room where there is another bouquet of red & white roses. Melt. When he combined them they looked patriotic just a coincidence.
See? (Like how I camouflaged myself, right?) Anyhoo, we then went out for breakfast with the kids...fast forward to the evening. We went out for dinner at a restaurant I've been dying to try and afterwards we had a surprise party to go to. Over dinner I decided to throw some more sexual q & a his way. Asked him about his cheating history in previous relationships, when he told me yes with prostitutes, I found my opening. Hubby was in fact a bit of sex fiend evidently and liked the rush of cheating "then". I firmly believe he wouldn't now, shit when would he have the fucking time LOL. So I asked if he'd ever done "freaky" things with these prostitutes like being dominated or letting them dominate him. He said no to all of these, "it was straight fucking, why? you would like this?" Without hesitation - YES PLEASE! We talked briefly on how I'd like it done, then out of left field he asks me, "Do you know who you'd call if you were going to cheat on me?" I looked him dead in his eyes and said, "Now honey, if I did, do you think I'd tell you? That was pretty bold of you!" His response, "I know you're getting close, and I know I've got to start being more open to what you want...thought I'd give it a shot". Wow!!! That's it folks...we have lift off!! My husband is fianlly seeing the light! Fast forward to after the party...on the entire way home all we talked about was more of what I want and that now that he's only working the one job with real sleep hopefully he can keep me happy. Double WOW!!
Now's the best part. You ready? We get home, the kids are asleep, the babysitter is so tired we let her stay the night upstairs in the office (the whole time I'm wondering if she can hear us). I tell him to pick out the pair of shoes he wants me to wear and of course he goes for the red stilettos. I strip down to my bra and black lace panties, and tell him to put them on.

After that I tell him he needs to find something to tie me up with, he goes for the black belt off my silk robe. First he ties it too loose behind my back, and I tell him to do it over. He insists he doesn't want to hurt me. My response, "Hurt me". This time he ties them perfectly. We put a porn on (though we didn't need it). In essence of time, he uses one of his wife beaters to blind fold me. I hear him getting naked. I hear the bedroom door being closed and locked. Then his hand is on my head and his dick is pressed against my lips. The precum is already there to greet me and I take him in hungrily. His moans get me wet. He bites me playfully, then hard, then really fucking hard all over my legs and thighs, my neck and ass. I'm grinning from ear to ear as I continue giving him head. This is fucking great!!!!! Then he pulls away, and jams his head between my legs and gives me the roughest fucking coochie lashing ever with his tongue. Yaaaaaaaahhhhhhhooooooooooooo!!! All of this while I'm face down, ass up. After what feels like an eternity, he stops and starts to fuck the ever loving shit out of me....Whhhooooppppeeeeee!!! My arms are killing me, I'm being suffocated by the pillow and wife beater, and I'm as happy as a pig in shit!!!!! He pulls out and throws us into this wild ass twisted version of a 69 - Oh sweet Jesus! We alternate between giving each other head and fucking for I don't know how long. I've cum several times now, and then he does the hand thing! I keep telling my husband that if he's not in the mood when I am all he has to do is this little trick of his, it blows my mind and soaks the sheets. He sticks his 2 middle fingers way deep into my puss and pulsates them against my honey spot - works like a fucking charm every single time. He started talking dirty, asking, no demanding to know if it was his pussy...of course I wanted to say, "for now", but I resisted and chanted, "yes, yes, yes". He promised to keep me cumming. Then pulled me up by my arms, held on to a stiletto and a breast, and slammed me until we both came HARD!!! After the shoes, makeshift blindfold, and belt came off, during pillow talk, I told him that he could have taken things further by pulling my hair, grabbing me by the throat, slapping me or ordering me around. He said he was worried about crossing the line and not knowing where to stop, and I said that we would create a safe word to let him know when it was time to back down a little. He got quiet after that, and so I asked him flat out, "Do I scare you?" He thought for a long moment, then said, "I wouldn't necessarily say you scare me, but you are intimidating as hell". That line was the Best Anniversary Present EVER!!!!!!!

Then as his reward, I secretly downloaded all of the boudoir pics to his Touch, and he was pleasantly surprised when he got to work last night.

Half Check Another One off the List!

I didn't get any birthday sex but somebody made up for their major
fuck up by indulging one of my little fantasies off of my list fir our
anniversary. I'm gonna make you try to guess which one before I tell
you... Guess away!!

Sent from my iPhone

Nocturnal Chat #7

Forgotten Password

Where the fuck have you been?!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, WHAT?
I'm sorry Queen Black Pearl!
You know you must feel my wrath now, don't you?
Yes, my queen, anything you wish.
Anything?
Yes.
Good, go get IT.
But...my Queen, you promised after last time to never...
Are you questioning me?!
No Queen, it's just...
Didn't you forsake me? Aren't you the one wearing the dog collar? Don't I reign supreme over that azz of yours?
Yes...yes...and (gulp) yes.
Then do as I say. NOW!!!
Yes, Queen.
When he returns, he is crawling on his hands and knees with IT dangling between his teeth. Fear and desire evident behind his partially closed eyelids. I take IT from him, stand up, and put IT on. The weight of IT already making me powerfully wet. I sit back down and spread my legs.
Suck IT and eat me.
He hesitates for the briefest of moments then proceeds to run his tongue down the length of IT and ending with his tongue inside my hot love tunnel. He's slow and methodic and I know he absolutely hates doing it, but what choice does he have. Either do it or I find someone who will. I lean my head back and enjoy his alternating licking and sucking of both me and IT.
Turn it on.
With a deft flip of his finger tiny vibrations radiate my clit. I grab onto the armrests and let my pussy juice rain down his lips, tongue and throat. I let the orgasm wash over me completely and give him a few moments to ready himself. He knows what's cumming next.
Turn around.
But...Queen. Pleeeeeeaasssssse. I will do anything else. I'll never make that mistake again. Please. No.
I said TURN. THE. FUCK. A. ROUND. NOW!
(whimper) Yes, my Queen.
I placed one palm on each of his round ass cheeks, spread them nice and wide, in my head I do a mental countdown of all the shit that brought us here, and when I reached number one I thrust IT deep into his no fly zone. No lube, no spit, just pure FIRE.
I am blind with power. This sex. My sex. Overwhelmed him. He bucked, he tried getting away, he clawed at the carpet below him. Somehow I became mightier. I possessed a new strength women only dream of. With the vibration still on and the straps digging into my pussy, clit, inner thighs, and ass, I am rewarded with wave after wave after luxurious wave of ecstacy. I kept going. Tears in my eyes as I ravaged his asshole with IT.
Peaches.
No.
Ice-cream
Uh Uh.
Licorice
Wrong again.
Ok, for real baby... I can't...I can't remember...the...the...safe word.
Desire has taken over my usually rational mind because the leather straps are pleasantly rubbing me and my juices drip as I stroke him back and forth. Back and forth. Back. And. Forth. Oh. Mmm. Uh. No password. Then you know what you have to do to make IT stop.
(Whimper) With shaking fingers he reaches up and starts rubbing his dick. My pussy love is pouring down my lips, to my thighs, to his nuts, to his dick. His hands soon become moist with nothing but sweet liquid lava. The more he handles his package, the deeper I thrust. The deeper I thrust, the wetter I get. Now we're both moving to this insane rhythm I've created. My head is back, hair tickling my ass, nails digging into the soft flesh of his rear. MMmmm. Oh. God. Cum for me bitch. Do it now. Stroke your shit till every drop is on this carpet.
Yes. Queen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ohhhhhhhhh FUCK!!!!
Gasp. Sigh.
I slide IT out of this spent and quivering excuse of a man. You're free to do as you please now.
Be gone.

Happy HNT!!

This is how hubby shoulda known what was up - I have a tattoo of tribal eyes right above the crack of my azz so I can watch you while you fuck me!

Hellooooooo...isn't this the universal "I'm a freak" signal?!?!?!!?

***P.S. - this is a little teaser from the photo shoot

...remember the disclaimer------------>

(don't steal shit from me and there won't be no problems!!)

How do you decide to cheat?

Does something major have to happen, a fight? Sleeping in separate rooms? Lack of communication? A forgotten birthday or anniversary? Sexless marriage? Or is it a steadily building pile of little things like burping in public, tighty whitie underwear, not helping around the house? I'm reading these blogs of married men and women who have found their way into the arms of lovers and can't help wonder how did they get there? I've made friends with a few and spoken offline to get some understanding. The most interesting thing that I've found: everyone loves their spouses. Some even believe their mates have turned a blind eye on their extramarital affairs. What pushes otherwise happily married individuals over the edge and into someone else's bed?

How many more "uncomfortable" conversations about sex can a couple have? Or when do you have enough "really, you couldn't think of doing that for me simply because I asked you to"? Is there a conscience decision to cheat? Or do you one day find yourself so pissed off by the day's fucked up circumstances that some man or woman just happens to be in your wrong place and wrong time at the right fucking time? Like if I left the house right now went to a bar or club or hell the supermarket and Mr. SmileAtMeTheRightWay offered to take me home, would I?

Is this rant of mine a case of me being overly sensitive to the fact that today is my birthday and I know funds are tight and hubby has "allegedly" something in the works but couldn't get me even a card on my actual day? Am I being a bitch because of this? I know money is tight right now, I know he has the best of intentions, but..... for Father's day and his birthday, I orchestrated this huge surprise "Man's Day" at this sports club, got him the cards, the cake, even spending money to hang with the fellas on his day. I can't get a card with an I.O.U for this weekend or the next or for whenever he has whatever he has planned. My mother gave me a mini-Julia Roberts shopping spree today (you know the new size after baby clothes) and all I could think about was when I get home maybe there would be a modest bouquet of flowers, a card or shit even a poem written on a piece of scrap paper...he knows I'm a simple gal and simple things please me. We've had this talk about a $2 card to mark occasions when money, timing and originality are out the window...ie birth of our son, mother's day, Christmas. I don't know...is it my mother's fault for making our birthdays feel like the most special day in year even as adults? Should I blame her for feeling this way? I don't think so, especially since I've told him how I feel about this a few dozen times over the years. It's not about material things for me, it's the idea that you took a moment to sit down and think, what could I do to make this day special for my mate? I'm a poet by nature, and so was he when we met, I've told him countless times, can't get to the store then put your love in print...it's priceless and can't be bought. I don't know...I just feel like, damn. Someone talk to me...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

YES, IT'S MY BDAY TODAY!!
I TREATED MYSELF TO THE NEW RABBIT, AND RIGHT ON SCHEDULE IN CAME IN TODAY'S MAIL IN IT'S BROWN GENERIC BOX...HOW MANY OF US HAVE GOTTEN THOSE? LOL....

MY PERIOD ALSO KNEW WHAT TIME IT IS SO I'M ABOUT TO GO GIVE IT A TEST DRIVE!!

HOPEFULLY WHEN HUBBY COMES IN FROM WORK TOMORROW HE WILL TEST DRIVE MY BIRTHDAY ASS ALL OVER THIS FUCKING HOUSE WITH SOME BIRTHDAY SEX!!

This Is Dedicated To All Those Stepping Out and Those That Just Fantasize About it...

Maxwell - Bad Habits- Watch more Videos at Vodpod.

If I could have Maxwell as my bad habit, well then GotttDAmmit!!!!

My Top 10 Sweet Ass Fantasies List

Top 10

1. Role playing in public –meet the “stranger” and we go off to some sleazy location to fuck our brains out or do in the restaurant/club bathroom or park etc.
2. Sexy Party – showing up to an unpublicized location where at midnight all clothes come off. You can just watch or indulge in various sex acts with the strangers you meet.
3. Dominate him –
   Tie him up.
   Make him follow directions to perform sexual acts on me.
   If he wants something, he has to beg for it
4. Voyeurism – have sex anywhere in public where possibly anyone can watch or we can get caught.
5. Dominate me –
   Tie me up with his ties or sex ropes and be ravaged.
   Blindfolded and handcuffed
   Made to follow instructions or be punished by spanking or relentless teasing.
6. Be the man – I have extreme penis envy and would love the opportunity to fuck someone with a strap-on whether male or female, primarily male to have that once in a lifetime opportunity to make a man my bitch.
7. Camera ready – Pose for Playboy magazine or guest star in a porn. (Tee hee - can sorta check this off!!!)
8. Lady like – have another woman pleasure me while my man watches and masturbates.
9. No means No – yep, being the poor innocent virgin who gets thrown against the wall, hands pinned, panties ripped away and fucked hard!
   
   
   And the No. 1 Fantasy is…
   
   
   drumroll please…
   
   
   …..duh!
   
10. Double penetration – Yes! Sex with 2 men, one in my pussy and one in my ass!! The Ultimate Orgasm – I shall find it one day!!

Man...oh...Man!!

Like Confessor X, starting this week my whole day time life as I knew it is about to change!! Hubby put in his walking papers at the day job! Which is great! More quality time, more time to do things as a family...just more!

The problem, all my sneaky, dirty, improptu cumputer time is now limited to night time when he's off to his night job! How will I function with only being able to sneak up here and tell naughty tales...wait...that will make them all the more special b/c now I'll have to be more inventive with my dirty time...the thrill of "Is that him coming up the stairs to catch me online?" will be intense from this point forward!!

I'm Queen Black Pearl and I reign Supreme - betta recognize my gangsta!!!


**By the way, it's 4:35pm and he and the kids are downstairs playing video games...let the trickery begin!!!

Big tings a gwan this weekend...

I may not have access to a pc this weekend, you know doing the family thing...but wanted to tease you all before I go...



...The List is ready!!


Maybe I'll post it sooner than Monday...maybe not...



...but you gotta beg for it!!

I'm totally feeling myself...

#6 was so unbelievably hot, I had to respond to myself really quick. Is that wrong? If it is, I don't gave a shit cuz I'm totally feeling myself and my skills. Now you're wondering: Real or Fantasy? Hm? Either way, writing about it made me hornier than a mother fucker!!!

I will tell you this though...taking boudoir photos was on my fantasy list and my wedding anniversary is next week, sooooooooo.....

Nocturnal Chat #6

Photo Shoot ;-)

I dropped the kids off at my mother's . I made sure my husband was off to work. I pulled the blinds shut so the neighbors couldn't see in. I got all my outfits, shoes, toys, and accessories lined up and ready to go. My hair and makeup - flawless. He texted, "Is the coast clear?" Yup.
I let him in moments later. We hugged. Discussed details as I watched him set up his equipment. Which outfit to wear first? "How bout the fishnets and black stilettos in the living room?" OK.
He set me up with a few Tyra Banks type poses of just my crooked legs in the five inch heels. "I'm gonna need you to take the top off." OK.
We were only into the shoot for 15 minutes and already I was getting wet. Couldn't tell him that though. Focus.
"Ok, where's that shirt you wanted to wear of his, go put that on."
He had me pose leaning over the dining room table and chairs. Exposing just enough of my round ass to keep the progression flirtatious. I was told to talk as if I was on the phone with my husband having phone sex. How could I tell him that never happened? Flash.
"Spread your legs and fondle a breast at the same time". Nice. "You said you wanted to get some in the doorway? Let's see."
I struck a pose with my back to the door, pulled my hands through my hair and arched my back. "Come closer". He was on the floor and had the camera trained on me from the crotch up. I still had on hubby's purple dress shirt, a pair of silk lace thigh highs, black stilettos, and a black g-string...and the photographer is between my legs. If he removed the camera lens, all I would have to do is sit down to offer him a taste. Breathe. Focus. Flash.
He clears his throat. "Wow, um, why don't you change outfits and we can get some in your room". As I'm switching into the white bustier, with garter and thong to match, and change to the white stilettos, he pears into the room looking down at his camera, "Um, so you said your husband doesn't take care of you in here?" I don't look up but continued dressing. "I can't imagine why not...wait don't put the thong on yet, I want to get you putting them on really slowly".
I do as I'm told. I lay on my back with my legs crisscrossed just so the peak of my feminine V is showing over my hershey thighs. I arch my back slightly, hook an end of the g-string on to the back of my right heel, and slowly bring it towards me. It's a cool 73 degrees in the house but I feel like my pussy is on fire. I hope I don't start to leak in the pictures, not that I wouldn't find that extremely erotic, problem is my husband will want to know what got me so wet in the picture. Focus. Flash.
"Flip over".
I'm on my stomach. He gently lifts both my ankles upwards towards my behind. I feel him tug the left side of my g-string and place it over the heel of my right foot. I can picture what he's doing. I sent him this pose and told him I had to have it. His hands are on my waist pulling my ass in the direction of his hard black lens. My pulse is racing. My palms sweaty. He takes a few shots like that.
"Whew, um, let's...um...you said you have some of his ties?"
I point to the box on the floor. He forgot to disconnect me and quickly jumps back up to remedy the mistake. He riffles through the box and pulls out a few ties. And barely audible, he whispers, "Take off all of your clothes, if it's ok, I'm going to tie you up in these". Sure. He looks up in disbelief and smiles a devilishly coy smile.
Once I'm fully naked, he asks me to lay face down. He put my husband's blindfold on me and proceeds to tie me up in what feels like a hundred ties in a hundred knots. My arms are crossed tightly over my now quivering from nervous excitement ass, and my feet are bound taut. He applies the final tie by drawing it between my lovely chocolate cheeks and places it in my palm so that I'm actually pulling my heels. It's quiet.
Flash. "You're wondering where I am and what I'm doing, right?"
Flash. "You're thinking, what have I gotten myself into?"
Flash. "If I licked your ass right now, you couldn't do anything about it".
Flash. "I should have gagged you". Flash. Flash. Flash.
I say nothing. Remain still. Focused.
The blindfold is lifted slightly. His eyes piercing mine wide with fear and lust. "I can smell your pussy, and it is very inviting. I should thank you for letting me do this". Blindfold replaced.
I feel myself being shifted to open my legs more. I feel his cold hands snaking their way up my thighs. I feel his thumb lift the tie between my cheeks and fingers glide down towards my hot pulsating love box. He dips a finger in. I inhale. He adds another, then another. I lose count. I'm soaked and realize I'm whimpering. My shoulders hurt but I don't care. I want more. My husband will be home in less than an hour but I've wandered into this place of decadence and silk, no turning back. The bed sinks below me as my hips are raised to meet his hungry mouth. At first he just laps at my clit like a thirsty kitten. Slowly. Deliberately. I think I'm dreaming. With his fingers still dripping with my creamy essence he inserts one, then two into my third eye and I spasm. I'm still holding the tie and pull it and him deeper into my pussy. His tongue has long stopped introducing itself and is now having a full fledged conversation. Thrusting his tongue deeper and deeper into the folds of my vagina. Uh, Mm, Uh, Oh, Ooooooooooooh. I feel hot liquid being sucked and drained from me as I cum over and over again.
As I lay shuddering and trying to normalize my breathing, he removes the ties and places them back in the box. He removes the blindfold. Our eyes meet. He winks, licks his lips, and starts to pack up his equipment.
"Just in case your husband doesn't thank you properly for these pictures, I wanted to make sure someone did."Focus.

Happy HNT

Remember those Ally McBeal episodes where they talked about the knee pit? There is something to be said about having a man run his tongue down the back of your knee. It's a subtle body part that often goes unnoticed...but hot damn if my legs are up on your shoulders and you grab the back of my knee pit with your hungry mouth, clamp on, and commence to sucking - sssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!

Response to Bill

Hey Bill, I loved your questions and thoughts on Nocturnal Chat #5 so much I had to respond to you directly (so everyone could see, of course ;->)

Yes, my number one fantasy is to have one dick in my ass and one in my pussy (with guy #1 laying under me in my pussy, me on my stomach facing him, and guy #2 in my ass standing). The feeling I can only imagine as supercalifrajalisticexbealidoious!

I find it commendible that you would want your woman to have her utmost desires, and wish my husband had a male friend that he could talk to that could explain such things to him.

I think that IF I were to ever get this fantasy with my husband, he would have a million rules about it. He's already told me it would have to be a stranger, and somehow I doubt he'd let me discuss it with him after all was felt and cummed. I think I would have such an undying burning love for my husband for putting his sexual hangups aside to let me have this fantasy. He thinks it will be opening Pandora's Box and that I'll want it more and more...unfortunately I couldn't argue with him over that point at all. Plus, I don't think he would want my complete honesty if I did thoroughly enjoy, he'll be wanting to hear that it was the worst experience ever and for me to beg to never do it again. Told him I couldn't promise that either. But at least he knows how much I want it, right?

As far as "a" list goes, I had to chuckle because our therapist had us do that...guess who finished their list months ago? ME ME ME!! We're supposed to try to do at least 3 things off the list per day, but alas I have no list for him. But since discussion of the list and our marathon sex talk, he's definitely more aware. I do think I will create a "Fantasy List" for him, and like you it may be pages and pages long!! LOL

P.S. You are so lucky to have found someone who is not only accepting of your sexuality but willing to enjoy it with unabashedly.

P.S.S. Thanks!!

Nocturnal Chat #5

Punishment

Image via Wikipedia

I'm home alone. It's late and I'm bored. Feeling horny but what else is new? I put on one of my favorite pornos, you know the one with nothing but scene after scene of double penetration. I open up my little drawer on the side of the bed to decide which of my toys will make my porn cum to life. Aha! I pick out my clear glass dildo and my sleek red vibrator. Now the big decision, which goes where? I take the glass vibrator, run it under the hot water, add the lube and slowly let it slide into my ass. By the time I'm ready to put the vibrator in, my pussy is trembling and dripping down my swelling lips. I lay down sideways and get his pillow to place between my thighs. I want him to go to sleep and wake up smelling nothing but my pussy. I start to slowly girate my hips as I watch this chick get her ass and pussy torn up by these two dick gods. I don't hear the alarm. The volume on the tv is on just loud enough so that their onscreen moaning coincides with my own. I feel him standing over me. "Can I join you?" I'm alternating licking my nipples and shake my head, "No". I hear him taking off his clothes as I remove the pillow, spread my legs, and start slowly pulling the glass dildo in and out of my ass causing my pussy to quiver. He stands over me and presents his hard dick. I slip a finger down my clit and shake my head, "No". I turn the vibrator on the highest speed and shove it as far into my wet pussy as it will go, the vibrations passing through to the dildo forces me to arch my back and grab the sheets. He's stroking his cock now directly in front of the tv. I flip to my stomach and shake my head, "No". I ignore him taking turns pulling the vibrator and dildo in and out...in and out...in and out...I feel the shock of my orgasm cresting and I squeeze my thighs tightly over my hands, my pussy, the dildo and the vibrator. I cum so hard that my toys slide out from the pulsating of my pussy walls and ass. I hear him inhale sharply and see the cum slide down his palm. I lick my fingers, reach for the remote, turn of the tv, and go to sleep. "Baby, that was fucked up".

"Yeah, I know".

One Word!

SELFISHMOTHERFUCKINGASSHOLEWAKEMEUPATTHREEINTHEMORNINGJUSTTOGRABMYTITFUCKMEFOR2MINUTESCUMANDFALLTHEFUCKASLEEP!!!

FUCKING STRIP CLUB!!

What is it about the fucking strip club?! My honey is 37 years old and I just don't see the appeal after a certain age...especially when you have a horny ass wife at home willing to strip for you for fucking free!! How do a bunch of grown-ass men get together to throw their hard earned money down some woman's g-string? Don't go hating on me just yet! I'm the same wife that says, "Take me with you". I'm the same wife that has gone to the strip club with him 3 times already after serious begging. I'm the same wife that takes the dollar bill caresses it between my breasts before stuffing it a random g-string. I'm the same motherfucking wife that bought my hubby a lap dance. WTF! So forgive ME if I don't quite understand the appeal, after working 2 jobs, barely getting any time off as it is, knowing full well that your wife wants to fuck the shit out of you every fucking minute of every fucking day, yet where are you tonight? Knowing you won't see your wife for the next 2 days (him working, me away with the kids for weekend)? AT THE MOTHERFUCKING STRIP CLUB!!!

I swear if he doesn't come home and try to break my fucking back.....ooooohhhhhh!!!

Nocturnal Chat #4

Click!

His online ho just signed on
Bing
Hey baby
What's your pleasure tonight daddy?
I was hoping you'd do that thing where you put that thing in your thing with the thing
Your usual again? That's 3 nights in a row, your dollar
Don't make we ask again, the wife's downstairs
Ok daddy, if this is what you want you know what you have to do
(point)
Ooh
(click)
Yeah
(point)
that's it
(click)
Mm Hm
(point)
Yes, harder
(click)
Oh, right there
(point, point, point)
don't stop
(click, click, click)
yes, yes, yes
(point, click, point, click)
I'm cumming, I'm cumming
(click, click, click, clickety click click)
OOOooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Shit, I love it when you do that fucking thing!
See you, tomorrow?
Definitely
(Click!)